Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
