K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he shaved USA in his pubs
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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