He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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