Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
no you cant smoke seaweed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
