it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
is wine microwaveable?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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