it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
