I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
