i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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