she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
