Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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