Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
