Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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