You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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