We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize