last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
