He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
