Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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