how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
