Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
