So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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