I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i think im in europe. pls send help
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
