I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
