We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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