I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
