Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
