glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
