Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
