Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
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I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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