Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Who died my cat blue again?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
