it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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