Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
