She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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