Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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