Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
