look no pants
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
