I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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