Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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