Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
