I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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