I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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