You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
