I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
