Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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