i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
