My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize