does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
