So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
