Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
organizing the empties. That sober.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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