So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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