Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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