I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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