did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
40s are totally the cure
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
