A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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