Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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