were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I believe in your delicious
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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