Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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