I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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