I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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