i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize