I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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