and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
