saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
