he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
