Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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