I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
