goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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