hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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