I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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